“The best helping hand that you will ever receive is the one at the end of your own arm.” -Fred Dehner

It’s nice when people offer to help, but nothing helps us more than being able to stand on our own two feet. When others do things for us, we miss the satisfaction that comes from a job well done. Pulling your own weight is empowering. Accepting help instead of becoming self-sufficient might seem easier, but inevitably it makes life harder.

Simple Steps:

• Do it yourself. Before you ask for help, try to do things on your own. Working for something and acquiring it under your own steam makes you feel strong and alive.
• Instill independence. Coming to a loved one’s rescue, financial or otherwise, without first giving him/her a chance to succeed on his own, teaches him/her that he can’t survive without help.

“Recipes for the Soul”

In today’s social environments – the sense of helping goes to one extreme or the other. Too much or not enough of, often it is too much.  Often, the idea of helping is self-serving.  “I feel good when helping”, “I lent a helping hand,” or “Aww, poor thing, if I help you, I will be in God’s graces.”

For families: consider this – how many times have you helped and complained about the ‘inability’ of the family member you helped to maintain independence or help themselves to daily services.

Let me be clear – I do not mean not helping those who DO need help, such as those with severe physical disabilities to grandparents/parents needing support. There are many people out in the world totally capable of doing stuff themselves but ‘take advantage’ of those who love to help and becoming slackers themselves.

Help those who CAN by teaching them those skills that you have been employing with them, provide support when needed and just let them be. Frankly, the hard way is the best way to learn to diversify and become resourceful. Support is essential; however, it becomes obsolete once helping becomes the norm.