Being a Woman

Experimenting with new smartphone. 5 Feb 2020

This month is a month of many things and pretty much almost all women related.

Breast cancer survivor.

Miscarried twice.

Being mom-shamed.

Well, being a woman in a States’ society is pretty much a given to be discriminated, bullied or shunned.

As long as a woman is in compliance with the Christian (not the only religion tho) ideal of a woman waiting at home for their husband and taking care of their kids, everything is safe.

In reality, the idea of a balanced marriage, where partners are egalitarian are far more common than a male’s superiority over woman. It is also real that a woman needs to work, just like her partner does.

Since October is Breast Awareness month, breast cancer does not discriminate but a high percentage of breast cancer survivors are women. I am a survivor, although I know of many others who have survived and passed away from it, like my mother, 10 years ago. This highlighted the serious consequences of people who did not have insurance to even take care of themselves.

The Affordable Care Act (quit calling it “Obamacare”, it was passed by Congress) is a good start, yes it has flaws and yes things can be changed around. What is this attempt at striking down a law that actually lets people have insurance, whether they have pre-existing conditions or not? Work on changing aspects of the law to improve it, not reinvent the insurance wheel.

If you have had COVID-19 and now live with the after effects of this virus, you do have “pre-existing” conditions that you could be denied insurance. Cancer? Pre-existing. Heart Attack? Pre-existing. Health has and always will be a part of living life, why should society make it harder for us to have insurance…just because?

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Apparently, miscarriages are also a theme this month. I never really understood why it would be a shame to miscarry a baby. Sometimes the body does what the body knows. When I lost my first one, after a number of years of trying, it was hard, yes and at the same time, I had to acknowledge that sometimes nature says “this will not work.” We tried again and the second pregnancy, I had a miscarriage and I was also still pregnant (essentially a twin).

After the first miscarriage, a lot of women came out of the woodworks. There were only a few people who I knew had a miscarriage, my mother being one. Why is shaming women for miscarriage that is a natural part of life such a terrible action? Is it because a male who cannot understand how it is to carry such life, thinks their wife or partner is a failure?

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I was recently watching “Red Table Talk” hosted by Jada, Willow and Gammy about “mom-shaming“. That was quite a flash back to some situations where I was essentially shamed like for letting my kids sleep later. I had to point out that the kids take “naps” before and after school – in the car. I have a 50 minute drive one way.

As Dr. Ramani on the show mentions – “insecurity” (also echoed by Jessica Alba). It is human to lash out because of one’s experience and at the same time, realize what kind of damage one is doing to a part of society and/or species by continuing to do this behavior.

For example, I may have given my kids a bottle, how would one know if it is breastmilk or formula? Making assumptions really do make an ass out of us.

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Let me close out by saying we are in a time of great shift and change is necessary for us to be able to grow and become better human beings and hopefully we will have a world left over for our children and theirs.

A woman who also has a responsibility to the world around her regardless of such harsh negativity and hopelessness that we go through now.

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