Does Breathing Matter?

Today I find it frustrating that people can twist the definition of a movement or a word to fit their own idealistic framework without truly understanding the heart, purpose and drive of the people at the core of the meaning of life.

Do all lives matter – yes; however, lives should not be weighted against who is popular, who is in the majority or because the situation deems it should be.

If Black Lives don’t Matter, when does All Lives Matter? Why should we shut down Black worldfolks because we value our lives more than they value theirs. This is total bullshit. Absolutely against the biological and chemical structure of our human beings. It strikes a stake into the very heart of the world we live on. This throws chaos out of balance with no balance in sight.

If Deaf Lives don’t Matter, when does Hearing Lives Matter?  One cannot exist without the other, nor can it exist without the underlying biological definition that defines us as humans.  Telling us that Sign Language doesn’t Matter is like telling yourselves that your Spoken Language doesn’t Matter. That is what Ms. Meredith Sugar tells people in America.

statue consecratedWhen this picture surfaced, it is like telling me that Black Lives don’t value Military Lives despite the history of discrimination and slavery.

Really?! Whomever did this (doesn’t matter what color), you would think it was easy to say “Well, ya know military lives don’t matter. Maybe they fought in Civil War, World Wars I and II all the way up to the ISIS situation, but ya know what, military folks, they don’t matter.”

So does any life on this damn beautiful, minuscule, living and breathing world matter? Do All Sea Lives Matter?  Do All Trees Matter? Do All Children Matter? Do Australian Aboriginal Matter?  Do All Global Lives Matter?  Does a single orchid matter? Yes, hell yes they do.

Yet… because we disregard those who are equally important to us as a race or as a species living on this fragile world, no lives truly ever matter to us.

So let me end with a bit of ranting.

When will you shut the fuck up, whining about yourselves and start listening with your eyes, ears, hands, feet well every damn part of you to those who are opposite of you.  There would be a damn whole lot you could learn on your journey to ‘enlightenment’.



A Disposable Life

2016 – it is and always going to be a way to dispose human beings, just because they happen to be different from the mainstream or the majority.

Records for more than two or three thousand years talk about how babies and children would be abandoned because they happen to be different – the most obvious are the physical differences and the least obvious would be the sensory differences; nonetheless, de nada baby be gone!

There will be cultures who cherished their people who were different; giving them status equivalent to an elder or medicine man/woman. Those cultures understood what it means to be spiritually connected; a lesser chance for the disposal of such quality of being.

It is unfortunate that after such a long history, we – the different, the despised, the minority – are still disposable. The video below describes the impact of homelessness and how we regard it as individuals and as a global society.


I have to be honest here – I was ready to disregard the video until ‘disposable human’ came into a conversation. It hit me.  I am a disposable deaf human being according to the medical profession. I am a disposable bilingual human being according to White America (and so it happens, I am white).  I am a disposable female human being despite outnumbering males and so on. I am entirely disposable.

A disposable human being that under all this – I bleed as red as anyone on this world just as the disposable homeless bleeds red on the street.

You, Me, Layers? Yes.

All of us have layers. You. Me. Yes.

The complicated layers, countless. The simple layers, countless. What about those layers in between? Still countless.

Neat types of layers? Nah. How we rip those layers off depends on how we perceive the sense of self. Journeys taken can build layers or take them off.

One could rip the layer off like one would rip a bandaid off – the quick the pain is the quicker it goes away. Peel the bandaid and suffer the pain – indefinitely or at least until the bandaid is off.

How we perceive our layers within self can be painful so you can either ignore or delve into yourself. We almost never do things halfway – most likely going to either extreme.

We can reframe our layers until the truth is hidden away or it becomes a glaring light, putting one to shame in this world we live in today – either way. We can move our layers around, whether it is intellectual, cultural, linguistically, racially or the like; throughout all that, do we take the time to really reflect on how we present ourselves or choose the layers to cover ourselves to people?

I wonder if most people use layers to place their own fears into shadows.  I know I do. I struggle with the sense of my self’s layers, what do they mean? How do they reflect the multi-chapter aspect of my own personal book? Does it reflect how much one does not understand about something and their reaction to the concept?

I had a family friend’s daughter announce that the family would be focusing 110% on their child getting an cochlear implant. This was like early 2000’s.  Now the idea of cochlear implants was not new nor the controversy with the idea of such; however, this was someone I knew most of my life and this straightforward news brought a shock to me and some friends of ours and our reaction was not too great.  Afterwards, this person just disappeared. At the same time, I had to turn inward to reflect on the reason why I reacted this way, after all we shared a common bond, the deaf community.

After reading the story above, if you wonder if my response was towards technology, my initial response was regarding technology.  This is where I had to peel a layer away, to ask myself if it was truly technology that I was reacting to, after all I wore hearing aids. It was a long retrospective reflection. Technology is a tool and rightfully so. Technology is manipulated by our own selves.

So then what? As a human, it was language, communication, social and community that me responding in a negative way. In a way, this person was telling me that the upbringing they went through their entire life was a farce or a negative aspect, a type of upbringing I had, despite having hearing parents myself. Technology was one layer, the rest came up when I reframed how I used technology as a deaf person.

Do we build our own layers or do we have others build those layers upon us?  When I think of this, I think of a black person wanting to rip their blackness off themselves so they can pose as a white person because society deems it acceptable. The problem with society is that the concept of layers are multiple and will follow the whims of society, suppressing so many layers that truly make us human.



Daily Prompt: Layers

Beyond the Ear: To Be or Not to Be

A paradox is it not? The famous words uttered by actor from Shakespeare’s own words – “to be or not to be”? The ultimate goal of Hamlet was to decide whether he would or not kill himself. In this he also analyzes whether or not there is life after death.

Take off the ‘deafness’ label and put your name on it. Own being deaf, let it immerse into your whole being.,_or_not_to_be

This draft has been sitting in my box for three years.  Sometimes when one writes something, it will be difficult to express the thoughts. For me, it is an analysis process, requiring me to assess my thoughts, feelings and be able to express it in a manner that I sincerely hope is clear enough.

To Be or Not to Be…

As someone who is deaf all of her life and until she is with the wind, being deaf is not the whole of me. I own my deafness as a part of my personality, my biological make up and just simply a part of me. This small part is one of many primary parts that guide my journey throughout life.

I cannot imagine my life without deafness. I just cannot.

“Oh but what about sound? You must hear everything! How can you not stand not hearing anything?”

Sounds are just a small part of who we are as humans. Our senses are entwined with each other, that with a loss of one, we have gained more. I still can see, I still can feel (sounds are also vibrations, so essentially I am ‘hearing’ sounds) and I can taste and smell.

Helen Keller said once “Blindness separates people from things; deafness separates people from people.”  People love to repeat this, more so when they do not know, experience or understand either difference in life.

Society is the one that separates people. ‘Civilized’ people are the ones who separate people from one another. Nations are the ones that divide people within their own countries. Being blind will separate one from another person based on their experience. Helen misunderstood what communication really meant, again based on the times she grew up in. Languages mean more than just the words coming out of the mouths of people.

As a deaf person, being deaf does not separate me from people, it allows me to observe them, parody and provides an insight into how the world really works, throwing my rose-colored glasses to the ground and stomping on them until they are in absolute starry pieces.

I prefer my sepia sunglasses that I can hang on my glasses, thank you very much.

Visual Texting…

What most people do not realize about texting and deaf and hard of hearing people is the visual factor and the ability to ‘doubt’ the message.

I recently read a BuzzFeed post:

This trend has lately been translated into video-texting, so when someone signs LOL but ain’t laughing that hard….hello! We can see you!  This is definitely applicable to ROTFLMAO. I have a friend who posted a video about this, while serious, had definite funny undertones. I have to find it and post it here! See below (updated):

Here is Michelle’s YouTube Video about the ROTFLMAO Pet Peeve:

Texting may be words, yet it feels like I know what the person is doing in front of the phone. Besides, I have done that a few times, which is always nice; yet leaves a guilty feeling.

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “It’s a Text, Text, Text, Text World.”


When I go into bathrooms these days, I look for the stall with a manual flusher.

I know…crazy isn’t it?

I think the automation of so many things created a downfall in human capacity to do things…for themselves. Motor skills, critical thinking, or just making sure the “water vacuum” works.

We don’t take the time to do things as they need to be done. We just assume that it will be done, period. Do we really want to go back and see that … thing still there?

I’ll be looking for the flusher everywhere I go.


Water, Blood, Fire; Nature’s Purification

Today I went to church and the sermon topic was “Water”.  Our pastor talked about water as a critical aspect to life, including baptism.  He mentioned that there were three topics frequently commented through out the Bible – water, blood, and fire.

I am drawn to what nature gives us in terms of those three aspects, in many ways are purification types; however, they also lead to renewal.  This is whether it is physical or spiritual.  In almost all religions, water is used for baptism, from simple sprinkling on the forehead to immersion.  We also cannot live without water. Did you know that a body can survive days of no food, as long as there is water to drink? Our bodies are made up of 72% water.

Our world, when one is paying attention, her climate is changing because of how we humans are changing the landscape of nature. The Great and Salt Lake Basins are drying up its aquifers and looking into the Colorado River to feed its population, especially Las Vegas, Salt Lake City and Reno. The rainfall there is a scant 5 to 12 inches annually.


Another aspect of life is blood. Blood is as strong as water and is composed of water.  Familial blood ties tend be much stronger between families even if there’s a dramatic love-hate relationship going on.  We are reminded of blood daily even if we do not see it, for it courses through us.  In other words, what of earth’s blood are spilling daily with the deforestation and ever increasing exploitation of our natural resources for greed? Blood will tell.

Fire, an interesting element, while destructive can be a renewal source.  I cannot say for California’s forests which in the last few years have gone through forest fires, compared to the last 3 decades can be scary.  In the Plains, controlled or natural forest fires actually bring new growth because the ashes fire leaves behind has nutritional properties and coupled with water, something grows within a few days.

Admit it – how many of you have stared in a fire and just let your thoughts run around? Fire, such as burning thoughts, spark creativity, desire to accomplish and of course warms us in the dark of nights.  Primal, is it not?  Summer comes soon.

Each element, water – blood – fire, each have a heartbeat that pulses within us and within the earth which we live in. We worry about its physical power but forget the spiritual power that reaches deep into our primal selves.  These elements remind us that we are not gods.  We cannot let greed dictate us, we need to go back to our natural selves and begin to see what we are doing as a whole – a spiritual whole and begin to work, clean up and restore equilibrium to our world, that WE all NEED to have. is soon here, where fires will run rampant.

*deep sigh*


School as Home

Hi!  It has been a while!  Teaching high school is quite a challenge. It seems that my expectations of high school does not fit the ideals we should be familiar with in the 21st century.  Makes me wonder if my kids will hate me when it comes to their teenage years, I do not mean ‘hate’, but be annoyed or well, what I did to my parents back then.

There is one thing I noticed that seems to be a trend, how students treat their schools as if they are at home.

Should we have uniforms? Yep

Just leave the hair and shoes at a fashionable focus (I need visual cues/items to teach ASL with) and bring back the uniforms.  I have noticed that how you dress affects how you behave.  Believe me, there is a big difference.  Yet it is a huge deal with parents, kids and school corporations.  (

Costs. Restricted creativity process. Possible discrimination.  Misbehavior. Academic achievement whether it happens or not.

For instance, I see students walking around in slippers rather than shoes, good kind of shoes that will keep your legs healthy (cheap or expensive, regardless).  Students throw stuff on the floor.  I do know that we have janitors but would  you want the students to be throwing stuff around on the floor at their jobs too?  Books are disrespected. I have had a total of 20 books where the spine is ripped out and now duct taped (whoo!).  I have had students draw obscene pictures in the textbooks.

I am not saying that we should treat schools like workplaces. Gosh there is an issue out there brought forth by business people that schools should be treated like businesses. Okay there is a line to be drawn here!  Nonetheless, schools should be a stepping stone or a transition to the real world; whether it be college or a job. Come to think of it, most jobs have uniforms.  Fast food, business people, teachers (that’s why we have Casual Fridays), auto mechanics and you name it.

Maybe uniforms are restrictive due to certain fashion statements, should not one be excited when one gets home or brings a change of clothes (for activities) to get into when school is out?  Uniforms don’t have to be 190 days; there could be certain days, like Fridays or Spirit Week where we can let loose and have fun, within reason naturally.

Sometimes too much freedom provides slack in responsibility and thought processes.  Our students will not be prepared for the real world with this much freedom.  Which means, we need to define what freedom really means to us, free will, free choice or the freedom to screw everything else based on teenage hormones?

I still will go for school uniforms for students. It is a responsibility and we have other ways of releasing our creative inputs.  (if one can draw obscene stuff in textbooks, that’s surely a creative input, albeit inappropriate.

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